SOULFRUIT INTUITION

This morning I realized that I stop myself from pursuing things that I want to do, simply because I am uncomfortable not knowing how things are going to turn out - whether it is about a friendship, a job, or simply a new interest or project. As I stopped to notice the discomfort, I wondered if I could be okay with not knowing. If what I am desiring has the possibility of bringing me more joy, more inner fulfillment, more peace and helps others, then isn't it wise for me to perhaps befriend the unknown.  As I dug deeper, I realized that it was the "not knowing" which makes us feel vulnerable, which ultimately, is what makes us human and real with ourselves and others.  When we are feeling down, numb, without inner vitality, perhaps it is a signal to step into doing those things that we most wish for, no matter how scary the first steps may be.  In reality, if we looked at the fear, there is probably speckles of excitement and possibility there too.  It is a matter of

  Here is the latest painting I am working on.  It is not done, but is a "work in progress". I love where it is now, and sometimes when I look at it I call it "Mango Lady" because the colors remind me of a delicious ripe mango - my favorite fruit.  I once told a friend, that if heaven had a smell, it would smell like mangos.  I started this painting last week, on what was probably the first day of the heat wave that had come through San Jose and settled into the valley for what seemed like a good week.  And for some reason I was inspired to carry my paints and easel outdoors to paint, which was a bit crazy, because folks it was warm out there. I love this idea of a "work in progress," which is often used for projects that have a beginning, middle and an end. It gives credence to every step in the process, and validates wherever you are.  What if we looked at our own lives as a "work in progress" - would that help keep our eye and focus in

Self love at its core is about truly loving yourself. Not just a little, or today I do, tomorrow I don't, and it isn't about loving yourself because someone else tells you they love you or love what you do.  It is loving yourself, as you are, right here, right now.  Self love is not about ego, it goes beyond ego, it is love that begins at the soul and includes everything else, our bodies, our personalities, what we think and what we do in each present moment. When we are able to love ourselves at this level, then the mistakes or difficulties that we are sure to make don't devastate us.  More importantly, self love at this level propels us to follow our intuitions, be on our own unique path, and guides us to live the life we want to be living. One of my favorite statements is:  "Your primary relationship is with self."  Check in with yourself right now, how does the relationship with yourself feel?  Does it feel warm, friendly, yummy, kind, loving, or does

The test of a man's wisdom is his equanimity.  Little stones that are pelted into the lake of consciousness should not throw the whole lake into commotion.        I came across the above quote by Paramhansa Yogananda a few days ago, when I was clearly ready for it, because the understanding of it felt lightning fast, a meteor flying from the words on the page to my consciousness, saying YES - I get this, it's time to put this into action.    And so, as if on cue, on that day, in the early afternoon, when I came across something that in the past would have disrupted my inner tranquility, I stopped, and reminded myself, "this does not need to throw me off, and this does not have to upset my whole life."      The reminder calmed me, and because I am a visual person, I saw in my mind's eye a picture of a calm lake, and then I saw myself throwing a small rock into the lake. I realized how silly it would be for a small stone to disrupt such a huge lak